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’Course you have—in fact, this situation probably comes up more than regaling your friends about a guy you are super-excited about. As my buddy Al says, sometimes “it’s good to force yourself to try to like something that’s objectively good,” such as doing a certain form of exercise or eating a healthy meal, even if neither of those things is attractive to you initially. I know I wouldn’t want someone dating me “just because.”I’ve gone out with women from Tinder, Bumble, etc., without knowing much about them, and many of them turn out to be a no-go after even one date.

That’s what makes meeting someone special so, well, special. Where the analogy falls short, of course, is that your running shoes and asparagus don’t have feelings to be hurt or hearts to be broken. Wouldn’t I be better off going out with a woman I get along with already, someone I know to be a good person and with whom I have similar values?

When would some beautiful girl take me by the hand, look deep into my eyes, appreciate all my wonderful quirks and make out with me torridly?

But those lugs probably think Hubble is some kind of gum and Perl scripts are oyster recipes!

This isn’t about glorifying a lack of commitment, by any means.

There’s something good about casually dating; that is, to feel free to go on one date at a time without feeling the need to commit to anything further. And if anybody out there figures it out, let me know.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes, even when my friends think that I’d be a fool not to go out with her, I’d just rather not go out with I’m sure women experience this, too. Have you ever had a friend ask you about a date from last weekend or a guy you met at a party the night before and have to tell them that you just weren’t feeling it? I think there is something to be said about making a conscious effort of trying to like good women, even if they don’t immediately catch your eye. If I truly think I could develop feelings for a great girl I’m not immediately over the moon for, I’ll go for it, but usually, I just leave it alone. I’m single, one of our mutual friends is single, and everybody wants to know: Why don’t you go out with her?I get it: Your friend is awesome, and you apparently think I’m an OK guy, so why shouldn’t we get together? It was the only time in my life that I got depressed: poor sleep, suppressed appetite, Kafka. The next kiss didn't come for another 4 years, when I was in medical school. Turns out that the skill set required to navigate the tricky waters of romantic interaction wasn't in any book I had read or any class I had taken. As guys, a lot of what we did in physics and math class was to try to straighten crooked stuff out. She was also 19, with an irresistible English accent and very cute to boot. Except that she dumped me, pulverizing my heart into nanoparticles.




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